I know I haven't written in a LONG while...sorry to those who actually enjoy reading about my life. My life has been a roller coaster ride to say the least here lately...to the point where nothing (other than God and Jared's and my marriage) was making the least bit of since. I was just walking a long through my day to day, and it seemed every other turn frustration was lurking just waiting for me to pass its way. It was, as if, I was losing all my inner joy and getting frustrated at EVERY LITTLE thing (which is in no means who I am).
All of this frustration got me thinking, "What is missing in my life? Why is everything frustrating me? What is wrong with me?"
I starting thinking back to more joyful days...what I did and didn't do in those less frustrating times. And it hit me I was no longer doing the things that brought me true joy...Waking up early, reading my Bible, reading books period, being around/working with children all the time, being outside, etc.... Life had gotten boringly routinish: I'd waking every morning, making Jared's breakfast and lunch, hug and kiss him goodbye, go back to bed, wake up around 9 or 11 (depending on what time I had to be at work), straighten the room if I had time, grab a shower, get on the internet (Facebook, email, etc.), grab a cup of coffee, get ready for work, maybe grab something to eat, head out the door, be bored most the time at work, drive home, cook dinner, eat, spend time with the hubby, go to sleep, wake up and do it all over again.
Now you may be thinking, meh that doesn't sound that bad and at first it wasn't, but did you see everywhere in there where I was taking time to spend with God? Did ya? Look again...nope you sure didn't.
My frustration with life just keep mounting...pile after pile of frustration. Then I was silly enough in all of this frustration to go to Wal-Mart (the most frustrating place in the world...to me at least). Every time I go there something always happens, someone is always rude (that someone being workers), or like last Sunday when I lost one of my last contacts and made a quick emergency run to Wal-Mart I had to wait 15 mins to just find out they lost my prescription.
It was Sunday when things started to hit home. After getting home from Wal-Mart, frustration in tact, we had to go over the Drew's house to get ready for our Coastline Community Church meeting. The Drew's were on their way back from Birmingham and had asked me to make sure everything was ready for that night because they were going to be a little late getting in. Well I'm trying to rush getting out of the house but I guess Jared didn't see that because he was take his sweet little time. As I'm loading the car, I start getting more frustrated that he isn't hurrying because in my mind we were running out of time. It was there and then I knew things needed to change. I have never gotten overly frustrated like that with my husband. He is amazing and extremely helpful. It was time things got re-prioritized in my life.
I had been praying that God would show me what's up, and slowly He did. A few days earlier I got a new job teaching kids again. Then that Sunday night Allen was speaking on letting God back in control of your life...sitting there as he was speaking I tried so hard to hold it back but I couldn't...tears just started to trickle down my face...thankfully no one was looking (I hate crying and rarely do). Right there I jumped back in the passengers seat.
The next morning was my first day back teaching and man waking up early again felt great! Woke up, took my shower, grabbed my coffee, and sat down to my Bible. What a difference it makes to your whole day giving God your first! After that I went to work and had a blast with the kids and then headed to Pier One (Yes I am pulling two jobs...for now). Oh yeah, I'm also fasting/steering clear of a few things that were over packing my life/frustrating the crap out of me...fasting Twitter, Facebook, and email...and steering clear of Wal-Mart.
As I sit here now with my cup of coffee and cup of orange juice at my side...enjoying my morning...I wonder how I could have ever given this up. This is true joy. Pastor Chris spoke Sunday morning on doing 5 things everyday that bring you joy and that help make life its greatest. Here are my 5:
1) Spend time with God
2) Spend time with my husband (serving and loving him in every way possible)
3) Laugh & Sing
4) Have a servants heart
5) Do something for myself (be outside, read, me time)
Thank you God for helping me be renewed with joy!
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